A Friend To Men

“A FRIEND TO MEN IS ONE TO WHOM ONE MAY POUR OUT ALL THE CONTENTS OF ONE’S HEART, CHAFF AND GRAIN ALIKE, KNOWING THAT THE GENTLEST OF HANDS WILL KEEP WHAT IS WORTH KEPPING AND, WITH A BREATH OF KINDNESS, BLOW THE REST AWAY.” Ancient Proverb

Take Time to Pray

I went on a well planned, attended, and executed Prayer Retreat this weekend at Oak Island, North Carolina, October 2-3, 2009. The experience was refreshing for me because I took time to reflect, think, commune, and pray with others who valued the power of prayer. I am particularly grateful for the opportunity to listen to young men who expressed their concerns and aspirations for their lives and families. I found the discussions thoughtful and sincere. Moreover, being in the company of other men who pray made me realize that the “Brotherhood of Men Who Pray” is alive and well. If also helped me realize that older men should do more mentoring, talking, sharing, and listening to younger men so that they can grow and learn from the experiences and mistakes that we have made.

It is not necessary for young men to make the same mistake that the old men have made. It takes both (young and old) to listen to each other, share things with each other, and help each other.-©Martel A. Perry, January, 1991.

For when old men are gone who will take our places. This brings to mind the lines from the film “Glory” (1969) when Colonel Shaw said before attacking Fort Wagner, in South Carolina. “If this man should fall who will lift the flag and carry on? A man answered, “I will.” Then Shaw asked, “if this man should fall, who will carry the flag.” Another man said, “I will.” And another and another.

It is so important for older men to support and advise younger men who will take our places in the family, church, community, and nation. If they are the ones to replace us, they are the ones who will give a kind word, support the family, do good works, and to serve their communities.

Listen to these words: And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. - Hebrews 13:16(NIV) Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way.-Hebrews 13:18(NIV)

Words To Say Thank You

Since my last posting, I have talked to over one hundred men and 90% of them feel that there is not enough support or appreciation for the role men play in work, family, and community. Men seem to feel that the pressure and expectations placed on them in today’s world is not valued. When I asked the men what would change their negative perceptions, fifty percent said, “a kind word on a more consistent basis;” 30 percent said, “would be nice to have an encouraging word”, 15 percent said, “if more people would say, “thank you;” and 5 percent said, “give me a pat on the back once in a while.”

These remarks brought to mind two books I have been reading, “WORDS TO SAY THANK YOU” by Sarah Hogget, and “THE ART OF ENCOURAGEMENT” by Candy Paul. In Hogget’s book, a quote by Mother Teresa of Calcutta stands out, “KIND WORDS CAN BE SHORT AND EASY TO SPEAK BUT THEIR ECHOES ARE THRULY ENDLESS.” Candy Paul highlights two noteworthy axioms that I would like to share with you, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”-Proverbs 27:17 (NIV); “One lighted torch serves to light another”-Frederick Godet.

“Pray for each other because in the end, we are all that we have; one man to lift another and one friend to give a hand"-©Martel A. Perry-September 2009

Developing an Effective Men's Ministry in the Church

There are many ways to develop an effective men's ministry. In this narrative, please find some of my thoughts on the process and structure. First, support of the pastor and support of the men who will initially participate in developing the ministry is a must. Secondly, safe space must be created in concert with a conversational environment that values the thoughts and views of others. You must develop group and one-on-one mentoring, leadership, coaching, and relationship building activities. Men must encourage and support each other in their individual endeavors and conduct a men’s bible study and reflection sessions. There should also be church leadership training that helps men discover their gifts, talents and abilities so that they may find a place of service in the church. If you have any other thoughts, please feel free to comment.

Take Time to Give Encourgement!

As I watch the financial news of today and witness how families struggle to stay together and to love each other, I cannot help but stop and pray for those families, and wish that the man of the house will not give up hope, for we all need to be strong.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things
1 Corinthians 13:7 (New King James Version)